Did the 10am with Swyann this morning… got there about 15 minutes early to find a PACKED class. Now, for those of you who aren’t familiar with the torture chamber, the more people there are in the room, the hotter and more humid it gets since everyone’s bodies are radiating heat and energy . I thought maybe today would be a little easier than yesterday.
At this point, I feel like the experience is becoming purely a mental challenge. Yeah I can do most of the postures, but if I’m thinking of how hard it is, or how I want to take a break because I can’t breathe, or how lightheaded I feel… my body will automatically stop what it’s doing and take a knee. Interestingly enough, right as I was thinking of how I wanted to die, Swyann said: “You can do this. Don’t let your mind control your body. The mind is a powerful thing. Push through it.” This helped tremendously so I pushed on.
I also kept thinking, especially during the floor series, how much this felt like running a marathon to me. I remember during the long runs in training, or even during actual races, when I would repeat my usual matras “I can do this” or “F*** you hills.” But this time, it was more like “F*** you heat” …!
I cried a little during camel pose, which is rare because recently my mind has been just coming to a blank during that posture. I cried because I felt like I was mentally too tired to handle this. But I’ve come so far… 10 classes down, 20 to go… and after my last day, I get to pick up my sweetheart from the airport after not seeing him for a month. While that is a beautiful reward… the greatest reward will be merely getting to the finish line.
I can do this…